Monday, July 6, 2009

Commentary on "How To Raise Good Christian Children"

I recently came upon an "interesting" blog post (I couldn't even recall how) that is by a woman with the pen-name Annie Angel. In this article, she educates Christian mothers (of whom I'm assuming are all housewives that worship and clean the ground that their abusive, misogynistic, Christian asshole husbands/overlords walk on) on how to raise good Christ-loving and God-fearing children. Actually, this is part one of larger "project", in that this one details how mothers should raise their boys. If you can stand me nit-picking and and being uber-sarcastic, then read on....

"Schooling. Boys should be schooled separately from girls in a military style institution with male, Christian teachers".

First of all, this is assuming that 'male Christian teachers' and a 'military institution' are sure signs of morality. Since when is teaching your son to be a sheep for his God and his country a good thing? The combination of Christianity and militarism just screams fascism to me. She continues to say that if you can send them to boarding school, especially one that keeps them for holidays, you must do it. There's nothing like having other people raise your children for you, and then to take credit for it in a terrible blog.

"it's best to beat him pre-emptively on a daily basis...A few swats on the backside each morning with a hairbrush will keep him in line. This is not discipline as you are not punishing the child for a specific offense so it is fine for a woman to do on her own."

This suggestion by Annie speaks for itself, for it makes a bold statement. Yes, Christian housewives out there, you should beat your son for no reason everyday, whether he did something to warrant it or not. And it's easy, so you can do it yourself! You don't need your husband, who I'm sure is infallible and the Hand of God to carry out this abusive task!

"A curfew of 8:00 pm on weekdays and 8:30 pm weekends is proper for boys under 16."

Suggesting an 8 o'clock curfew is probably the most reasonable one, even though the ridiculousness is still there. A 16-year-old that has a 8:30 curfew has no real social life and will no doubt be ridiculed for this by his peers. She goes on to say that as long as a male over the age of 16 is with others in public on a weekend, he can stay out an extra hour. I wonder if Christian mothers are supposed to carry this out until he turns 18, or if it applies to adulthood (or at least until he finds a wife that will takes over the motherly duties).

"YES YOU CAN CHOOSE HIS FRIENDS! And not only can you, you SHOULD!...Any boy with long hair, ripped jeans or a leather jacket is an obvious bad choice for your son to have as a friend. But be aware that some "clean cut" children are not Christian and have not been raised in a Christian home. Who knows what kind of depraved morals lurk beneath their boy-next-door exterior. For that reason it's best to choose his friends from among the congregation at your church."

Annie apparently is still living in the 50s, as no children really consider the "long hair, ripped jeans, or a leather jacket" a sign of 'coolness'. She makes the hypocritical mistake of assuming that non-Christian children have bad moral values, as she wants you to raise your child as a Christian (which is an offense in and of itself*). What gives someone the right to choose their child's friends? This is no doubt psychological abuse; a view of the world this narrow, sheltered, and close-mindness is the kind that makes serial killers.

Entertainment. If you have a good church, this should be no problem...Video games should be kept to a minimum and should never contain any kind of violence unless it is a game put out by the U.S. Armed Forces. Movies should be screened for sex, violence and content before they watch them, by either yourself or someone at your church."

The worst part of suggestion #5 is not that your church should choose what entertainment your child views (I already expected that from a religion that demands conformity). It is that violence in video games are bad, unless the Armed Forces puts it out. Watching men in uniform kill non-Christians and brown people in graphic combat is good for your Christ-loving boy!

Dating should be with a mind toward marriage. Too many young men these days ruin their lives by impregnating the town slut. There is no need for young boys to experiment with sex before marriage. The best way to make sure your son doesn't become a teen father is to simply not allow dating."

Of course, if you see something wrong with teaching abstinence instead of safe sex, then I need not to say more.

Music. Rap is a definite no-no. Children are impressionable and the rap industry is geared toward turning your sons into women-hating, mysoginist ho-masters."

I'm suprised that rock n' roll or one of its offshoots (metal, alternative, grudge, etc.) wasn't mentioned. Considering that it "promotes Satanism and the Occult", one would figure that she would warn the mothers of America of this blasphemous genre. But I'm guessing she picked the most popular genre of music, as it is the most widely listened-to type of music in the world. Notice how she claims that rap turns "your sons into women-hating, mysoginist ho-masters" (her typo/misspelling, not mine). If you read the rest of her articles on her blog, then you'll see that she surrendered to misogyny a long time ago.

Clothing and accesories. Baggy clothing that exposes a boy's bottom is NEVER acceptable. Baseball hats off the baseball diamond are NEVER acceptable. Baggy sweaters, no. Bling, no. Cellphones should be limited to the walkie-talkie type with preset numbers programmed by you, otherwise he may begin dealing drugs."

I see nothing wrong with wanting your kid to look presentable. But with children, especially teens, clothing and accessories (her misspelling in the quote, not mine) is a result of two things: self-expression or conformity. If it is the former, I fully support it. If it is the latter, then Annie should love it, because it is out of conformity and groupthink that religion fully supports that a teenager would dress the way he does.
And how does having the freedom to dial a phone number presumably lead to dealing drugs? Maybe he would have more of a social life if he did deal drugs. But he would have to be home before 8 o'clock, of course.

Behavior: As the old saying goes, children should be seen and not heard...Proper manners should be stressed at all times, especially at the dinner table and in front of strangers. A first impression is a lasting impression. Children should never interrupt their elders and should always show respect. Running in church is disrespectful to God as is giggling in the pew or fighting with siblings. Rules should be stressed in ways to instill the fear of God into the child, remind him God is watching him at all times and make up a few stories about bad little boys who disobeyed their parents."

I'll admit that opposition to this statement is subjective. Depending on your values, you may agree with Annie Angel or not. I've never thought that 'elders' should be automatically respected or revered. Common courtesy is fine with me, like being to polite to a grandparent that wants to know why you got a tattoo; of course its none of their business, but it is good for morale if you just let them be nosy bastards. But instant respect towards someone is being obedient and dumb. Also, I've never liked church, since I was always forced to go by my parents. So, kids being rebellious and blasphemous by giggling in church is okay with me. Hell, I'll still do it to this day. And scaring kids in to obeying their parents is nothing new. Ever heard of Hansel and Gretel?

Punishment. Punishment should always be carried out by the father...have an uncle or other male relative or close friend step in. Never try to discipline a boy yourself, the humiliation is something he should never have to deal with as a man."

For a good Christian woman, she sure loves the punishment aspect of having a kid (but then again, punishing people is what the Judeo-Christian god is all about). According to Annie, anything harsher than a daily beating with a hairbrush should be left up to a man. It takes a real man to beat up his son, and having it done by his mom would be too embarrassing for a boy. At least if his father does it he'll have some self-respect and dignity as an adult.

Religious Instruction. When your son reaches an age where he begins to ask serious questions about God and Jesus, you will have to refer him to his father, or in cases where that is impossible, a trusted older male relative, close friend or church member."

Again, Annie shows how men really do know more than women, especially in religious matters. At the same time, she surrenders herself to the patriarchy by leaving it up to men to explain their beliefs. Hasn't this kind of thinking ('Men are made in God's image, so what they say is infallible) allowed religion influence a society as much as it does?

The first problem I have with Annie Angel is her religiousness. People of faith are not inherently bad or stupid*, but the faith helps. The faith she calls for is the fascist kind of faith, in which God is not questioned or rejected. The way she says to raise a son is with military-type discipline, automatic and unwarranted physical and psychological abuse, and 'good Christian values'. Anything else in a boy's life is apparently blasphemous and will drug-dealers, rebels, and (gasp!) non-Christians/believers. Her ideal son is one that cannot exist in a sane and realistic world. The child-rearing that Annie condones is the kind that produces serial killers. If someone actually raises their son this way, I'll anticipate seeing him featured on the 8 o'clock news, where he shot a couple dozen teens at his military school and returned home in time for curfew to rape his mother and torture his father.

There is more to these wonderful suggestions than I have quoted here, so if you are really interested, read the rest of the article. Like I mentioned before, she also wrote an article on how
to raise your daughters, which is just as ridiculous and insane.

If anyone wants to comment or respond, go ahead and do so. I fully encourage it. Just don't be obnoxious or an asshole.

*I am aware that these are contradictory statements. The latter of which is more my philosophy.

Annie Angel, "How to Raise Good Christian Children" Blogging Points. 18 April 2006

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